For today’s blog post, I need to write one thing that I wish I had right now; well that for me would be a child. I always knew I wanted to be a mom and have children; I always dreamt of being a stay at home mom and even working part time from home. My husband and I have tried before in the past to try and get pregnant and sadly I never got a positive in my pregnancy test within that year. I decided to take a break because it was affecting me so much and causing me to get so depressed from it. So we did, we took a 2 to 3 years off of trying and started up again trying a little less than a year in a half ago, and we still have not gotten a positive on a pregnancy test. I was diagnosed with PCOS and early stages of Pre Diabetes and Cholesterol; however, because those were very early on, they told me that with my diet change and exercise I can get rid of it without any medication. I was going to go to a specialist to get more testing done to see how my uterus looks, etc however, this whole coronavirus stuff happened so I have to wait till everything clears up before I can get more testing done. But all I can do now is be patient and not be so hard on myself on the fact that I am not a mom yet…
A difficult time in my life would now and for the past year to year in a half. Last January I decided to get off my birth control to try again to see if maybe this time around I can get pregnant. I had tried for over a year a few years ago and decided to take a break and get back on my birth control pills to try and regulate my period since I hadn’t had it in over a year. Since last January I have been successful at getting a period every other month or so but still haven’t gotten pregnant. It’s so heartbreaking when all I want is a baby. I finally went and got checked and found out I do in fact have PCOS. I know if I lose weight it might be easier for me to get pregnant (MAYBE) and I get that motivation to lose weight but then again stop after a while…I suck at sticking to something…its so bad! Right now I know everyone is having such a hard time with everything going on regarding COVID-19 and I feel like my depression and my anxiety has gotten so extremely bad during this time and because I keep gaining more weight because I’m such a stress eater it just makes it worse. I have been thinking about maybe seeing a therapist like doing online therapy to help me cope with everything and when life gets back to somewhat “normal” finish going back to the drs for more testing to figure out if there’s something else that is causing me not to get pregnant.
About three weeks ago, I did something that I have been wanting to do for so long but kept putting it off for fear of what the results would be. I finally went to the doctor to get blood work done to see if I do or do not have PCOS, which I kept thinking I did because I had all the symptoms for it practically. I did the blood work and sure enough I was officially diagnosed with PCOS, which I was not at all surprised about it; what I was surprised about was the fact that I was also diagnosed with super early stages of pre diabetes and cholesterol. My doctor and I decided that it’s best for me to go on a diet or better yet change my lifestyle to try and get rid of my pre diabetes and cholesterol and hopefully my PCOS too. So now instead of taking medicine to help control it all, I will be changing my eating habits and exercising which exercising I have been good about this year….been doing some sort of cardio every day and strength training at least 2 to 3 times a week. I think my eating habits is what is going to be the hardest thing for me to change but I know I can do it… I have to do it so I can get rid of these craziness and lose weight and hopefully get pregnant naturally instead of doing infertility treatments; which I’m open to doing if I’m still not pregnant by the end of this year because that would have then been 2 years of trying without success. I would love to connect with others who are struggling with the same thing.
I have been sitting here in front of my laptop for the past 20 minutes trying to get the courage to write this blog post and if you saw my instagram then you saw me saying how much I didn’t want to write this post, if you don’t follow me on instagram you totally should and let me know you came from here and I’ll follow back! Anyways, I don’t even know why I included this specific post in the challenge but for some reason or another I did and here we are. I have had a few difficult times in my life and I wanted to talk about two main ones.
The first difficult time was when I lost my uncle suddenly along with my sweet sweet grandma and my dog coco. I lost my uncle in March of 2017, my grandma in February of 2019 and my dog June of 2019. I took all 3 deaths very hard…my uncle none of us knew he had a heart issue or anything of that sort till he passed away from a heart attack suddenly at such a young age too. My sweet grandma, she was the one I was the most closest two out of both my grandmothers. I get my personality from her, she just made me feel so special and so extremely loved and I miss her so so much. And my dog…well he was my first dog baby ever and it breaks my heart that he got so sick so quick and that nothing helped him get better.
The second difficult time is what I’m also currently going through and that is infertility. I think I have posted a blog post about how my husband and I have been trying for years to get pregnant and we just can’t and honestly its such a emotional thing and so heartbreaking too. We are currently trying different things, I’m seeing a specialist sort of and I just started taking the <a href="http://<a target="_blank" href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B013RMKCV4/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B013RMKCV4&linkCode=as2&tag=lifethoughtsa-20&linkId=25f7aed9c1b07cf2627548fb81f0c825">Conception Fertility Prenatal Vitamins – Regulate Your Cycle, Balance Hormones, Aid Ovulation – Myo-Inositol, Vitex, Folate Folic Acid Pills – 60 Vegetarian Soft Capsules</a>conception pills. So far this pill is helping and I have only been taking it for a few days…it helped me get my period which I hadn’t gotten in a few months (I know TMI but hey its my blog and it’s all about my life so I will write what I please) anyways…so we shall see if these pills help which I really hope they do because I really would love to become a mom. If nothing still works, I will eventually go see a infertility specialist and see what we can do, but I want to try other things first before I spend so much $$$ on treatments.
When we welcomed 2019, I got this weird feeling well not weird but great feeling that this was going to be my year. This year is going to be the year that I finally put myself first and work on becoming a better and healthier version of myself.
Two weeks ago exactly I started intermittent fasting in hopes of losing weight and getting healthy and honestly I have been loving it. I fast daily for about 14 to 16.5 hours meaning I do not eat or drink anything during that time frame except for water and black coffee. I can technically have black or green tea s well but I do not like my tea without sugar and honey so I rather stick to black coffee and water only. I have also started working out (this week more so than last week) and have lost a total of 4.5 pounds in two weeks.(WOOHOO)
I also got off my birth control two weeks ago today! I’m very curious to see how my body reacts this time around to it; last time I got off birth control to try and get pregnant, I gained almost 40 pounds within a year, broke out like insane and was so moody and tired all the time. Oh and I don’t get my period without my pill so we shall see about that too! I have heard intermittent fasting helps some women with their hormones and get pregnant as well so we shall see if it helps me with my crazy hormone imbalance.