Boy it’s been a while since I have blogged! Life has been so crazy the past few months with everything going on. Im sure this whole coronavirus thing has affected so many people; whether it’s been losing a loved one to it, losing their job, their home, to just feeling so stressed and going through depression. I know working during this pandemic has been such a blessing but also so stressful too for those working. I am such an emotional and stress eater and I eat everything that is awful for me. I of course went and got blood work done before COVID hit and got diagnosed with pcos, pre diabetics, and a few more other stuff. I was suppose to start a new healthy lifestyle and change my eating habits but it honestly all went to hell after COVID hit. I went through so much stress and depression that it has now lead me to be the biggest I have ever been. I have been feeling so depressed and just so disgusted with myself that I just turn to sugar and carbs and everything that’s horrible for me and my health. I’m sick of feeling this way, feeling so huge, so ugly, so exhausted all the damn time! I am finally ready for a change and that starts tomorrow. It’s not going to be easy I know I’m going to struggle but I have to make the change and I hope I can document my journey on here and my Instagram. I plan on doing intermittent fasting – starting with 14 hours then moving up to 15 then 16. Like I mentioned, I have an obsession to sugar, carbs and everything gluten so I am going to try to lower my intake of those by 80% and just choose healthy unprocessed foods. I hope you can follow and support me along with my journey.
For the past 12 to 15 years, being a nanny is what my career has been and probably will be for the next few years too. However, what I would love to be is a stay at home mom once we have a baby, but I don’t just want to be a stay at home mom. I would love to be able to work from home as a blogger and a photographer. At one point in my life, I wanted to become a book editor so I actually wouldn’t mind if I did that part time while being a stay at home mom. I am such a homebody that I would love nothing more than being at home and working from home.
For today’s blog post, I need to write one thing that I wish I had right now; well that for me would be a child. I always knew I wanted to be a mom and have children; I always dreamt of being a stay at home mom and even working part time from home. My husband and I have tried before in the past to try and get pregnant and sadly I never got a positive in my pregnancy test within that year. I decided to take a break because it was affecting me so much and causing me to get so depressed from it. So we did, we took a 2 to 3 years off of trying and started up again trying a little less than a year in a half ago, and we still have not gotten a positive on a pregnancy test. I was diagnosed with PCOS and early stages of Pre Diabetes and Cholesterol; however, because those were very early on, they told me that with my diet change and exercise I can get rid of it without any medication. I was going to go to a specialist to get more testing done to see how my uterus looks, etc however, this whole coronavirus stuff happened so I have to wait till everything clears up before I can get more testing done. But all I can do now is be patient and not be so hard on myself on the fact that I am not a mom yet…
I think now more than ever, we are missing so many people; I know I miss so many in my life that I cannot see or visit right now. However, the person that I absolutely miss the most is my sweet angel grandma who sadly passed away. My grandma passed away last year and the last time I saw her in person was in September of 2015 before she moved back to Armenia. This sweet grandma of mine was the one I was the closest too, the one who I am so similar too, the one with the biggest heart ever. I miss her so so much.
We all have those days where we are feeling very down, sad and just depressed. I have been having them a lot more recently the past few years and I still struggle with how to really get out of it; however, I always have a few things that I like to do to improve my mood.
I feel like the past few years I have become such a negative person and I hate it. I have been struggling with trying to change that about myself because I really don’t like it. I miss being so happy and positive and full of self esteem. Right now, I’m constantly thinking so negative about myself, and everyone around me….it’s so bad! I have been trying very hard the past few weeks to try and be better but its been hard. I have considered maybe going to therapy and so I’m debating about it because part of me thinks that maybe that will help.
Being a nanny is so rewarding and amazing; but it can also be kinda hard. It is a lot of responsibility and it requires a TON of patients. I currently work for a family that has two adorable little girls ages 4 and almost 6. My day to day looks so different now while we are going through this COVID-19 situation than when life was “normal,” believe it or not right now it is more exhausting than ever before. I come home so so tired everyday and barely have any energy left to do anything else. I wanted to share what a typical day as a nanny is like (at least for me.)
8am – arrive at work
8am to 9:30 am – get girls dressed and feed them breakfast.
9:30 am to 10 am- oldest one has online zoom session and youngest will play with toys.
10 am – 10:40 – we either go for a walk around the neighborhood or we will play in the backyard.
10:45 to 10:55 am – snack time
11 am – 1pm – zoom class for both girls and then homework for the older one.
1pm – lunch
2 pm to 3:30 – outside play time; sometimes we will go swimming if its hot and sometimes we will even do Zumba class, or yoga class that I find on YouTube.
3:30 to 4 pm – iPad or show time
4 to 5 pm – bath time for girls.
5pm – I’m off!
This is what my day usually looks like now. I do work more hours usually (7:30am to 6pm) but since mom is working from home I’m get 1.5 hours less a day right now.