life, weight loss

Feeling so disgusted with myself!

Boy it’s been a while since I have blogged! Life has been so crazy the past few months with everything going on. Im sure this whole coronavirus thing has affected so many people; whether it’s been losing a loved one to it, losing their job, their home, to just feeling so stressed and going through depression. I know working during this pandemic has been such a blessing but also so stressful too for those working. I am such an emotional and stress eater and I eat everything that is awful for me. I of course went and got blood work done before COVID hit and got diagnosed with pcos, pre diabetics, and a few more other stuff. I was suppose to start a new healthy lifestyle and change my eating habits but it honestly all went to hell after COVID hit. I went through so much stress and depression that it has now lead me to be the biggest I have ever been. I have been feeling so depressed and just so disgusted with myself that I just turn to sugar and carbs and everything that’s horrible for me and my health. I’m sick of feeling this way, feeling so huge, so ugly, so exhausted all the damn time! I am finally ready for a change and that starts tomorrow. It’s not going to be easy I know I’m going to struggle but I have to make the change and I hope I can document my journey on here and my Instagram. I plan on doing intermittent fasting – starting with 14 hours then moving up to 15 then 16. Like I mentioned, I have an obsession to sugar, carbs and everything gluten so I am going to try to lower my intake of those by 80% and just choose healthy unprocessed foods. I hope you can follow and support me along with my journey.

How have you been doing during this pandemic???

infertility

I wish I had…

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For today’s blog post, I need to write one thing that I wish I had right now; well that for me would be a child. I always knew I wanted to be a mom and have children; I always dreamt of being a stay at home mom and even working part time from home. My husband and I have tried before in the past to try and get pregnant and sadly I never got a positive in my pregnancy test within that year. I decided to take a break because it was affecting me so much and causing me to get so depressed from it. So we did, we took a 2 to 3 years off of trying and started up again trying a little less than a year in a half ago, and we still have not gotten a positive on a pregnancy test. I was diagnosed with PCOS and early stages of Pre Diabetes and Cholesterol; however, because those were very early on, they told me that with my diet change and exercise I can get rid of it without any medication. I was going to go to a specialist to get more testing done to see how my uterus looks, etc however, this whole coronavirus stuff happened so I have to wait till everything clears up before I can get more testing done. But all I can do now is be patient and not be so hard on myself on the fact that I am not a mom yet…

Infertility sucks!!!!

life

5 Blessings in my life…

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My blog post that I upload yesterday was a fairly sad one, so I today I wanted to share 5 things that I am blessed with.

  1. My husband – he’s my everything and I cannot imagine life without him.
  2. My family – this whole safe at home situation has brought us all so much more closer and I’m forever thankful for it.
  3. My baby girl Daisy – we recently got a toy maltipoo puppy less than 2 weeks ago named Daisy and I am so obsessed with her and feel so blessed to have her in our lives.
  4. My health – yes I have some health and hormone issues but I feel blessed that it is not much worse.
  5. My job – I know so many people have lost their jobs due to COVID-19 and I feel thankful that I still have a job and am still working.

What are some things you are thankful/blessed for?

infertility, life, Uncategorized

Difficult time in my life…

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A difficult time in my life would now and for the past year to year in a half. Last January I decided to get off my birth control to try again to see if maybe this time around I can get pregnant. I had tried for over a year a few years ago and decided to take a break and get back on my birth control pills to try and regulate my period since I hadn’t had it in over a year. Since last January I have been successful at getting a period every other month or so but still haven’t gotten pregnant. It’s so heartbreaking when all I want is a baby. I finally went and got checked and found out I do in fact have PCOS. I know if I lose weight it might be easier for me to get pregnant (MAYBE) and I get that motivation to lose weight but then again stop after a while…I suck at sticking to something…its so bad! Right now I know everyone is having such a hard time with everything going on regarding COVID-19 and I feel like my depression and my anxiety has gotten so extremely bad during this time and because I keep gaining more weight because I’m such a stress eater it just makes it worse. I have been thinking about maybe seeing a therapist like doing online therapy to help me cope with everything and when life gets back to somewhat “normal” finish going back to the drs for more testing to figure out if there’s something else that is causing me not to get pregnant. 

Infertility sucks, so does depression!

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health, infertility

Finally went to the Doctor…

About three weeks ago, I did something that I have been wanting to do for so long but kept putting it off for fear of what the results would be. I finally went to the doctor to get blood work done to see if I do or do not have PCOS, which I kept thinking I did because I had all the symptoms for it practically. I did the blood work and sure enough I was officially diagnosed with PCOS, which I was not at all surprised about it; what I was surprised about was the fact that I was also diagnosed with super early stages of pre diabetes and cholesterol. My doctor and I decided that it’s best for me to go on a diet or better yet change my lifestyle to try and get rid of my pre diabetes and cholesterol and hopefully my PCOS too. So now instead of taking medicine to help control it all, I will be changing my eating habits and exercising which exercising I have been good about this year….been doing some sort of cardio every day and strength training at least 2 to 3 times a week. I think my eating habits is what is going to be the hardest thing for me to change but I know I can do it… I have to do it so I can get rid of these craziness and lose weight and hopefully get pregnant naturally instead of doing infertility treatments; which I’m open to doing if I’m still not pregnant by the end of this year because that would have then been 2 years of trying without success. I would love to connect with others who are struggling with the same thing.